Girls’ Generation Review by Melissa Febos – When a girl becomes a woman | Autobiography and Memoirs

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NOT.American writer Melissa Febos is highly unlikely to the average reader, including a former ruler and a recovering heroin addict. Yet his new essay book is Youth, Describes an experience that every woman can recognize. If you feel uncomfortable with your body, can’t say no, or at least don’t have a compensating smile, or have to put up with the “normal violations” that come with being a woman ( chat call, Come-ons), then Youth This will not only speak to you, but ignite the anger that two words like “ordinary” and “violation” should arouse in a couple.

A wide mix of memoir and reporting, history and cultural criticism, the Seven Essays began at age 11 with changes that changed her body and her life, from Girls’ Generation to Women’s. This roughly represents Fevos’ journey. Nearby, Febos has found a path to a place of safety and strength, but his route to it is fraught with dangers: a wolf-like man hides, a mirror reflects the enemy. The drug seems to be hard to resist like a bright red apple.

She was raised on Cape Cod, the daughter of a psychotherapist and captain, as she explained in her opening essay, Kettle Hall. Her mother was making feminist changes to her storybook, and Febos loved the big hands they shared. “I was not like petals,” she later wrote.

Then the change happened. The feminine body she has suddenly acquired makes her a stranger among her enviable flat-chested girlfriends, trapping the gaze of her brothers – even a grown man. Soon the word “bitch” began to be whispered. At the age of 13, she divorced her body and started giving the boys what they wanted. It was “the perfect trap for it,” she observes in retrospect, “how a solution to loathing is proof that I was.” It’s disastrous, but as Febos points out, there is nothing, if not common.

Febos is a seasoned storyteller. His prose vibrates with drama and color, light and darkness. There are frequent gear changes and these generally work – the combination of genres and reference ranges is like the spirit of a book where comfort comes from union with others – they make sentences strange and mean. Produce.

Whether you’re buying drugs in Paris, offering the humiliation of ordering $ 75 an hour in a dark dungeon, or attending a hug party with your girlfriend on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, Anchor is Fevos. There remains the experience of. In a transformational experience that I would have been happier to read, she accepts singles for most of the year.

Much of the hard emotional work in this book centers on her efforts to reanalyze her memory. In doing so, she exposes the power to shape the girl as she enters her teenage years and determines the decisions well made in adulthood. When it comes to consent, or “empty consent”, his ideas are fascinating. All those “Jesse” uttered for fear of hearing “no”. Or, protecting yourself as a woman can mean protecting a man. they or they Our bodies have always been our only currency and should not be rejected or embarrassed. And there are the “mental acrobatics” we perform to undermine the credibility of our instincts and blame ourselves for unnecessary attention.

Edith Wharton, Alfred Hitchcock, Audre Lorde – All their work informs YouthBut so is the voice of the women interviewed by Febos. Their story creates solidarity, but sometimes breaks the spells of its own spells. But it may be beneficial. After all, this is a book that keenly recognizes the intimidating power of stories and the limits available stories continue to place on girls. In short, the story must be confusing.

But it’s also heartwarming if the book is burnt, and if the sadness of her seething anger can really affect the mind. For example, the woman of the word: Febos does not want to get it back, but she insists on the definition of the nineteenth century, the definition of a candlelight soaked in lard. As she encourages him, “If it helps you, carry me through the darkness. Now take this story and watch it burn.

Youth Melissa Thebos is published by Bloomsbury (£ 18.99). Guardian When Observer Order your copy at guardianbookshop.com. Shipping charges may apply

Girls’ Generation Review by Melissa Febos – When a girl becomes a woman | Autobiography and Memoirs

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